Habits: Will They Make or Break You?
Habits can make or break you. Why? Because most are unconscious, operating just beneath the surface of our awareness. Basically, we get into a groove and go on automatic pilot.
We also have many rituals in our lives – some good and some not so good. Starting each morning, we have those things we do repeatedly during the work week. And, typically we conclude our days with the same dedicated evening habits. We all like our routines, so far be it for me to tell you to change.
I will suggest, however, you ask yourself the questions: Do my habits/rituals serve me well, supporting me to be all I can be, or do they keep me in a rut? Are there better habits that will serve me and those around me?
Some of our habits are in motion in the field of unconscious competence (unconsciously competent) and others are squarely in the realm of unconscious incompetence (you don’t know what you don’t know). Being unconsciously competent is a good thing since it requires little brainpower. It’s a zone of sorts for those things with which you have a decent amount of experience. It’s when you are unconsciously incompetent you find yourself in a dangerous space potentially. It is then (I hope) that some kind soul tells you that you are unaware, and may be hurting yourself or someone else.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” – Albert Einstein
Personally I like the notion of being consciously competent (I must think in order to do). It is a place where I am very intentional about what I am doing. In this mindset, I like to plan out both routine and non-routine tasks so that I make sure I am prepared and so I can save time. Planning also lets me operate in the moment so that I am in better relationship with myself and others, and I am not fretting about what I need to do or what I may have done wrong. At times when I know I am consciously incompetent (I know what I don’t know), I have learned to experience the situation as a blessing in disguise. I have an automatic sense that something is wrong or amiss, and if I have enough drive, I will change what I am doing and replace the behavior with a positive habit that serves me well.
We have numerous distractions: email, texting, the internet and thousands of choices on cable just to name a few. In the 19th century, Karl Marx said that religion is the opium of the people. I wonder what he would have said today if he saw our 21st century habits. It seems we engage in a lot of mindless activities to take the edge off stress, but we only seem to add more by other means.
Let’s look at successful people. They have good habits that drive their successful behaviors. What you don’t hear is that successful people, like all of us, have bad routines too. The difference is that their good conventions carry the day – either temporarily or on an ongoing basis. The bad routines of successful people don’t seem to derail them.
Ah, I bet you are asking yourself: What is your definition of success? I found a practical answer to that question. It comes from a man who was on the cutting edge of self-improvement in many respects in the 1950s, 60s, 70s and a portion of the 80s. His name is Earl Nightingale, a pioneer in personal development. According to Nightingale:
“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.”
I would add that habits and success drivers are intertwined to a point of inextricability. If you want to be successful, you will take a look at your routines and rituals with a microscopic lens to see what is working for you and what is not. In my own life, I’ve made my some of my best moves when I was disgusted with what I was doing and wanted better results.
I have a process for preparing to change a bad habit. As part of the first phase, ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you in good shape mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually?
- What is working and what is not?
- What do you need more of and what do you need less of?
- What do you need to start and what do you need to stop?
I call this preparation phase Discovery. It is where you take a look at your present situation and identify what is missing from your life because of your bad habit. Ideally you set a goal. Going toward something is infinitely more powerful than running away from something, although sometimes you need to run before you can slow down and think.
Design – This is the phase in which you test out different alternatives. In this case we are talking about looking at better routines and approaches to replace a habit that is holding you back or taking you down. By the way, none of these steps has to be performed by you solely. If you work with others, you will have a more complete design that everyone can own, and you will learn from each other—a win-win scenario.
Development – This is where you develop your action plan. I have heard it said that a goal without a plan is simply a dream. I have another personal example for you. I have had losing 25 pounds on my goal list for the past 4 years. It wasn’t happening until one of my valued clients told me about a wonderful book called Eat to Live, by Joel Fuhrman, MD. I read it and it sold me on changing my eating habits. I was also fortunate to hear Dr. Alok Kalia, another subject-matter expert, speak to both of my CEO groups and that sealed the deal. These two sources gave me my plan. Only God knows where those 25 pounds went.
One more note about plans. I have also heard it said that the only good plan is the one that can be executed.
Deployment – This is where you get it done. It’s about execution according to plan. If you are not getting it done, you have to ask yourself if you are not following the plan or if the plan is a stinker. If you set yourself some milestones along the way you can have some mini-celebrations to keep you moving forward. Ultimately, you want to celebrate your success, to remember how good you felt when you got it done and to use what you learn to take on the next thing.
This whole discussion is about managing change. Do you want to move away from pain or do you simply want to move to more pleasure, or both? Whatever your impetus may be for doing something differently, you will be managing change rather than being afraid of it.
One last thought on deployment. This one also comes from Einstein. You have probably heard it many times:
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
In summary, bad habits can lead to bad results. Good habits work for you, not against you. Moving from a bad habit to a good habit involves change. Change can be managed if you are intentional and have a plan. A plan can always be reviewed (and implemented) by you and others. This increases its potential for effectiveness and minimizes risks. Work your plan and make changes in course as you get more information. Celebrate your success – with a good habit.
And, there is more, there always is.
Be Genuine.
Recommended readings, in addition to books referenced in this blog entry:
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, by Stephen R. Covey
- The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change, by Charles Duhigg
Copyright 2013 © John J. Trakselis, Chicago CEO Coaching
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